Episode 34 - Why Prioritizing Yourself Is The Best Investment for Your BusinessDec 01, 2021
Have you ever heard the ‘oxygen mask’ cliche?
That you need to put yourself first if you want to unleash your best possible self into the world and serve others as best you can?
When I was a new parent, I heard this all the time.
They told me to take care of myself, make sure I got enough sleep and put my own needs high on my list of priorities so that I could be the best parent that I could (without turning into a zombie in the process!!)
And although I inwardly rolled my eyes at the time, it’s true. For parenting, for running a growing business and for becoming the happiest, healthiest versions of ourselves possible.
Yes, it’s difficult. Yes, you may feel like you’re being selfish. But it works. And I’m living testimony to the fact. I’ve seen how transformative prioritising my own needs can be for my life, my relationships and my business.
This week, I want to show you how this philosophy can benefit your life too.
That’s why I’m excited to share with you this week’s episode which is a recap of the conversation I had with my fellow Pilates teacher Martin Reid.
We talked about the importance of surrounding yourself with supportive people, having different communities, knowing your self-worth, finding joy in what you do, setting the right boundaries, and so much more.
If you’re an entrepreneur who needs help with growing your business, staying on track and gaining the confidence to turn your desires into business growth without burnout, you won’t want to miss this one.
Want to put your goals out there and implement them yourself? I’m kicking off the year with my new programme this coming January: the Winter Business Growth Implementation Academy. It will help you plan, prioritize, get organized, and implement your goals.
Stay tuned for more info!
- Community is really important in helping you build your confidence.
- If you need somebody to help you move your business or your mindset forward and to help you with personal development, movement, or wellbeing then definitely reach out to your networks.
- We need to have many different communities for us to move together, open up, and sometimes have hard conversations. We need to lift each other up and cheerlead each other through rough times.
- I love to learn as it goes hand in hand with my business. I need to be able to develop myself because if I am not learning then I can not always teach.
Other resources mentioned
About the show:
Need simple strategies to help you grow your business and achieve more without working harder? Struggling to balance work, life, and all your other commitments and don’t want to burn out? You’re in the right place.
The Eleshia Show is a holistic business and lifestyle strategy podcast to help you get clear on your business goals, stop procrastinating, boost your income, and do what lights you up.
Women are taking notice! We have listeners across 37 countries and over 327 cities! We’re teaching female business owners across the world how to achieve more with less while looking after themselves. And we can do the same for you!
We’re having intimate conversations — the kinds that most female business owners are having privately. You don’t want to miss these.
Tune in to the podcast every Wednesday to discover exactly what expert CEOs did to get their businesses off the ground and achieve success so you can do the same!
With your host, Eleshia Harris, business coach and growth strategist, you can redefine what success means, ditch the stress and confusion and learn how to run your business from a place of ease and excitement.
If you want to talk business, wellbeing, lifestyle, mindset, goals, and scaling organic growth, don’t miss it!
Connect with Eleshia and the community today:
Eleshia Harris: Joy is so important, and this is a really good time to think about it. Are you still getting joy out of what you're doing from a business perspective? I often find when I work with clients, after they really gain clarity on their whys, they often realize that they are not doing the things that are serving them anymore or bringing them joy. And I really want you to think about this, is what you're doing bringing you joy?
Hey, I'm Eleshia Harris, and I am the host of The Eleshia Show where each week, we'll be having conversations about how to enhance your wellbeing. We'll be sharing strategies and stories and insights to build your business while still navigating life because sometimes we try to separate the two. And let's face it. If you are not well, you have no business. I am a holistic business growth strategist and a wellness coach who spent over 15 years in corporate before deciding to choose me first to build my brand, Eleshia Lifestyle. I'm here to teach you how to redefine what success means to you, ditch the stress and confusion, and learn how to run your business from a place of ease and excitement. Let's get into this week's episode.
Hi, and welcome back to The Eleshia Show. I cannot believe that we are nearing the end of the year, and I am sitting here recording the 34th episode for you. That is just super amazing to me. And I'm so, so happy that I'm here and I'm doing it. I went forth with my dream, and you guys are here every week listening to me, and my guests. And yes, I know I say it every week, but I'm just so thankful. I'm so excited to be back again. This week, I am shouting out all of my listeners from the Philippines. I am so happy that you're here. I am so, so, so happy you are here. Thank you for continuing to show up for me. I love that you are here listening every week. So today is going to be kind of a recap episode of a conversation that I had with a fellow Pilates teacher, a couple of weeks back where we had such an in-depth conversation that some of the topics that we went through, I just decided that, one, I wanted you to hear it. And two, I wanted just to then expand on some of the things that we talked about. We were having a conversation, but it also felt like it was a coaching session. Martin was just about to record for a virtual conference, and he was still working out some of the things that he was going to discuss in his presentation. And we just went, we went there. And again, it was just so nice to have this conversation with somebody who, one, looks like me, but also just having somebody listen and hear, and really just resonate with what I was saying at that time. That was the first time that we had a conversation. We did an Instagram Live, which he has now turned into a podcast episode. So if you want to hear the full episode, you can either find it on Instagram if you go look up Martin, and I'll put all of his details in the show notes. Or if you just type in Core Conversations in iTunes, then you will find our full conversation there. What I've done for this episode is I've taken some of the main topics that we discussed, and then I'm going to expand on those as well. So, as I said, Martin is a Pilates coach. He is also a presenter and the host of Core Conversations, the podcast. He's also an athlete. And he is just an amazing grounded human being. He is based in Canada, and it just felt like I've known him for years. And I know for a fact that the conversation that we had back in October is not going to be our last because there was just so much more that we really wanted to discuss. But we just had the hour, but we could have been talking for at least three. So look out for more collaborations between Martin and I.
The theme of our conversation was investing in yourself. And you know, if you have been a listener for some time, that is my main ethos. You have to invest in yourself first. Even if you're a business owner, you're a mother, a father, a partner, you're looking after other people, when you can, invest in yourself first. And I know sometimes that can be hard, but it is so, so important especially if you are wearing all of those hats to be able to take the time to really invest in yourself because otherwise when you don't, there are so many other things that can go wrong. And I'm talking from personal experience. If you've listened previously, you know that I lost my mom to cancer back in 2015. I became a sister-mom to my brother instantly. I had fertility issues. I distracted myself with doing all of the things including a very high-paced role in investment banking and making sure that I really pushed forward. and then my world just came crashing down when I started to really grieve. And at the same time, I was trying to plan to have a baby and I realized that my body was just inflamed. There were so many things that were going on within that I needed to really take a step back and look after myself. And fortunately, I did that and I was able to do that naturally. Thank goodness, I am healthy now. But I know many people who have had different outcomes, and this is the reason why I am so invested in ensuring that other female entrepreneurs put themselves first. So our conversation was rich in just ways that we can do that. But also, Martin asked me some really thought-provoking questions that I hadn't ever really taken the time to consider. And that was what was really great about having a conversation where I didn't know what questions he was going to ask, so I answered them from my truth, from my authentic self.
So now, the conversation has had time to breathe and I have more perspective. There are some things that I really want to add. So let's get into some of the snippets of the conversation that we had.
Martin Reid: How confident are you or how bold are you with offering your services? And the reason why I ask this is that when we're passionate about what we do and we're consumed with that, that takes away that fear of rejection or that fear of humility. So you could see someone be like, I believe I can help you. You need my help. Are you confident in that piece of reaching out and just pulling someone in for your assistance?
Eleshia Harris: That's a really great question. And I need to unpack that a little bit because last year, I wasn't. And I think last year for everybody was like...
Martin Reid: It rocked us.
Eleshia Harris: Yes, it rocked all of us. And I was lucky enough that I had a Pilates community that held me. Held space for me and we worked out together at the beginning with Brooke every day, at the beginning. And then over the course of time, I speak to her most days and we work out together three times a week when we can. And community is really important to help with confidence. I'm going to say that again, the community is really important to help with your confidence. So for me, I am lucky enough that I've got people around me that believe in what I do. And at the beginning, obviously, I had to prove what I knew. But now, I'm like, I know what you need. I can help you with that. Take everything that I've learned over the last 15 years of working in corporate and managing multiple million-pound portfolios, and let me help you with your business. I might see something that you may not see. So I think I'm getting better at saying, hey, I know my shit. I'm going to meet you where you are.
Martin Reid: You are. Yes.
Eleshia Harris: I'm not going to just tell you, this is what you need to do, because that doesn't work for a lot of people. But I'm going to look at it from a holistic perspective and say to you, okay, maybe you need to think about that. Maybe you need to think about that, then we'll create a plan. And then I'm going to help you implement that plan. So when you work with me, there's no, okay, I'll get it done in my own time. No, I'm going to help you implement it because you've told me what you want, so let's get it.
So I hope you took away from that extract that community is really important when helping to build your confidence. Especially after the nearly two years that we've all endured. It has knocked us. It has played with our mental health. It has played with our confidence. It has made us question ourselves. It has made us question our purpose. So for me, it has been really important to surround myself with people that can lift me up and help me to really understand myself, but also be there to be supportive. So I'm going to ask you, who do you have in the community that is cheerleading for you? Who can you call when you're not having a great day? Do you have peers in the same industry that you can lean on, bounce ideas off, and just ring when you're having a shit day and you want to rant? If not, what's stopping you from investing in this for yourselves? I have many different communities. I mentioned I have the Pilates community, my group of ladies who we moved together. But we don't just move together, we have really open and sometimes hard conversations. We are there for each other when each other may need to be lifted up more. We are there to cheerlead each other through rough times. We are just adjusting there. And so I have that community. I also have my personal development community. I love to learn. And for me, it goes hand in hand with my business. I need to be able to develop myself. If I am not learning then I can not always teach. Does that make sense? You because sometimes, the world that we live in, moves so quickly. And take Instagram for example, it is changing so quickly.
So one day, you think you know everything there is to know about how it runs, and then the next day, there's a new update. So that's just like the business side of things. You have to keep yourself up to date, but again, you also have to take it from a personal development perspective of, what are you doing to help yourself? So it could be your wellbeing, your lifestyle, your hobbies. What are you doing to help to develop yourself? So think about that. Maybe I should have said at the beginning of this conversation that you're going to need a pen and paper to take notes. But if you don't have, hit pause, grab one and just really think about some of the things that I'm discussing and just jot down the things that are resonating with you that you may need to give more thought to later on.
I also have a business community. Again, I love to learn new things or how to scale my business, how to ensure that my foundations are correct, and things that I can then also teach my clients. I have business buddies who we brainstormed together, we help each other move our businesses forward, and we're just there to be sounding boards too. So, again, that helps. It can be lonely sometimes, and I've said this many times, but it doesn't have to be. So if you know that. You need somebody else to help you move your business or your mindset, or help you with personal development or movement or wellbeing then definitely reach out to your networks. Definitely see if there's somebody else who's in the same position as you. And talk to them, and see if they are willing to be your accountability partner or if they are willing to open up their network to you. There is no harm in asking.
Another one of the questions that Martin asked is how confident are you, Eleshia, in telling people about your services and if you can help them. And like I said in the conversation last year, I wasn't as confident as I am now, but I know what I can offer. I know my worth, I know my experience, I know what I've done for clients. I know the achievements and the goals and even the monetary goals that I've helped my clients smash. I know the business growth that they have gotten from working with me, and all of that excites me. Like I always say, their wins are my wins. And that's one of the reasons why Summer School for me, and if you weren't a part of some school and you're like, what is she talking about? It was an implementation program. For me, it was so exciting and so fulfilling because I got to really help people. And people who didn't realize that they needed my help, and that was magical for me to see as well.
Like I told Martin, I know I can help. And how am I going to do that? In January, I am kicking off with my new program. It's called the Winter Business Growth Implementation Academy. And we start off in the second week of January. And I just want everybody to have a wildly successful 2022. Why shouldn't we? So I know from my perspective, I am not a New Year's resolution kind of gal. I've been there, I've done that. I hold my hand up to not actually seeing it all the way through to the end of the year. But what I am great at is actually planning out what I am going to achieve quarterly, and then breaking those goals down into manageable tasks to then achieve those tasks over a period of time. And that's how I work with my clients. So does anybody else like doing that? And then what happens? You put your goals out there, and then do you implement them yourself? Am I hearing a little bit of radio silence? And there's nothing wrong with that. I know from my perspective that I need that external accountability as well. I need somebody to check on me, and that's how I know that I am able to then move my needle forward. And that's what I loved about working in project management. I love the implementation phase. I loved being able to scope everything out, then plan everything out, and then implement it. That's where I found my joy. And this is the reason why I absolutely love what I do now because that's what I get to do with my clients.
We have planning sessions where we scope and then we implement. I don't just leave you with your plan. When you have coaching sessions with me, we actually coach and we implement at the same time because I don't want you to then get stuck once you have left our coaching session. And then not pick up anything again until the night before where we’ve planned to meet again. No, we need to make sure that you are getting what you need and you are achieving those goals. So are you wondering how this year has gone so quickly and you've still got lists on various scraps of paper to complete by quarter two of 2022? You know that you need your accountability to get really laser-focused and to get your admin up to date before spring. While you want to get ahead, you haven't begun to even think about mapping out what you need to do for the rest of this year before you then move on to the next year from a business and a personal lifestyle perspective.
Don't worry, there is hope. As I've said, if we work together, we can do this. Imagine starting every day knowing exactly what your priorities are and what you need to focus on. You're going to be so excited about having a structure and an easy plan to follow. Scaling your business is going to be so much easier once you know which direction you're going to be going in. You're going to celebrate all of those wins and you're going to feel so much more obtainable. And you're finally going to get to a place where your operations and your systems and everything is in place. Sounds amazing, right? And this is the whole reason why I put the business work Implementation Academy Together because I am going to help you to plan, prioritize, get organized and implement all of the things that you have been putting off for ages.
I am a holistic growth and implementation coach. In my work with female entrepreneurs, I help them get super focused and stay on track so that they can gain the confidence to turn their desires into business growth without burning out. As a result of joining the program, you'll feel in control of your plans for the next 90 days and beyond. How can you make progress and gain momentum? You'll have a solid roadmap to follow to continue to see business growth. Finally, you'll feel like the procrastination is under control and you've got the space to feel excited about the next steps in your business. You'll feel excited about having your business running smoother with a steady source of income coming in. If this all sounds amazing and you want more information, I have put all of the information that you need in the show notes. And also, feel free to contact me if you need to have a chat about everything.
Eleshia Harris: It's really important that people believe in themselves. And my tagline, my ethos is to invest in you and then invest in your business, because without investment in yourself, I'm not just talking about taking all of the courses and so forth, I'm talking about you. I'm talking about your lifestyle, what you've got on from a family perspective, how are you looking after your health and your wellness, and your self-care and your mental health and all of those things? Let's look at those and let's look at your business as well, and let's marry them together because they're supposed to work together, and let's get the stuff that you want to get done, done.
So we went on to talk about how we marry your business and your home life together, and why joy is so important. And this is also a good time to think, am I still really enjoying what I'm doing from a business perspective? I often find when I work with clients and I ask them why, that it then opens up a more expensive conversation. And sometimes they realize that they're actually not finding as much joy as they want out of what they're doing presently. And so I asked them to dream. I asked them to dream about what they really wanted to do. This is so important because one of the things that we touched upon is the fact that we are not here forever. And I really want you to recognize that. And this is such a nice segue for me to let you hear what I said to Martin with regards to how I lived in fear for two and a half years.
Martin Reid: When you're talking about your voice and when you're in a corporate setting where you didn't really have an expression of that voice, and then when you got out on your own, and then you realize how many people can help and how powerful you are actually, and that was actually already there. I was going to say, it's almost like looking in a mirror. And when you look in the mirror, I can see my chest, I could see my face is up. But my back is there as well. I can't see my back, but it's there. And there's a lot of things that are visible, and there are other things that aren't visible that are still there that are in the still. And I feel like that's sometimes when we look at ourselves from one perspective, we forget that we have all these other things that are there and available to us.
Eleshia Harris: Yes, I totally agree. And you've just made me think about when I shaved all of my hair off. That was me. That was me making a statement, not to anybody else, but to me like I see really sharp. I see. Now, let everybody else see who you really are. It needed to be that powerful statement to myself.
Martin Reid: To yourself, yes.
Eleshia Harris: Yes, that I am worthy to be seen as well. And going to see me.
Martin Reid: Absolutely, absolutely. For you. I love that. I love the courage. And that coming to a place in our lives where we are free from the opinions of other people, and we're more consumed with who we want to be than what people think about us. That brings us to those moments, whether it's you, cutting your hair for someone else to do something for themselves, unapologetically for themselves for the first time in a really big way, that's huge. That's huge. That's a real turning point in our lives.
Eleshia Harris: Martin, when my mom was going through her cancer treatment, I lived in fear for two and a half years. I lived in fear of, is she going to make it? Is she not? And unfortunately, she didn't. She's not with us anymore. But it made me recognize that I have to be truthful about who I am because we're not here forever.
Martin Reid: That's a stark reminder of that.
Eleshia Harris: Right?
Martin Reid: Yes.
Eleshia Harris: Yes, we're not here forever. And yes, sometimes we can really let people's opinions and how they treat us really stop us from going for what we want. But we are not here forever. And I think we need to recognize that if there's something that you desire to do, you need to do it.
Wow. Just hearing that part of the conversation again is making me well up. What powerful statement are you making for yourself? And I'm not telling you to go and shave your hair off as I did, but what are you doing for yourself and possibly others to see you, and forget what anybody else thinks? What do you want? Again, take some time possibly to sit down and actually journal on this. Write it down. Print it out. And actually, maybe even frame it. Put it somewhere that you can see it every day. What do you want going forward?
Martin Reid: So those joys, and celebrating those joys. So I was thinking, first part is that, I'm trying to flesh out our hows, like I said before, understanding why, and then living in our how. And that how is a meeting point of an idea of how to do something. And then when you put it out in the world and people say yes to that idea, and then you live that idea out and you find joy in the expression of your idea of people saying yes to it. So there's a joy that you find in that. I think that when we start to follow that place, follow that joy, that gives us a better understanding of what we need to be doing, and how do we create more space for the things that give us joy, and how do we get the courage to say no to the things that don't bring us that joy. So just thinking through all the different pieces, because it's one thing to say, okay, yes, that's great, that gives me joy. But then I still have a problem saying yes to everything. Now, I'm inundated with commitments that I don't want and all these different things. So how do I find my words and my voice to do the things I want to do?
Eleshia Harris: So I had to do a lot of boundary setting.
Martin Reid: Yes.
Eleshia Harris: And I had to recognize that sometimes, yes. But the courage to say no is what doesn't bring joy. But I had to recognize that everything that I was doing, one, wasn't sparking me joy. But also it took a lot of my energy. And then I didn't have the time to do the things that were bringing me joy. So this may work for you or it might not, but I had to really look at the things that I really needed to reduce, and that meant people too. That meant saying goodbye to some people.
Martin Reid: Every tree needs to be pruned. So all I know about horticulture, that's where it ends.
Eleshia Harris: But I had to set boundaries. I had to set some real hard boundaries, and I don't like to do that. I'm a people pleaser from deep in my heart.
Martin Reid: How do you have the courage to do that? Obviously, it's like working out, you need to get your reps. You need to just do it and then do it until you feel comfortable doing it. But how did you get into that place where you can start to not please people with your decisions?
Eleshia Harris: So it got to a place where I was like, okay, I am caring about certain things more than other people are. Does that make sense?
Martin Reid: Yes.
Eleshia Harris: So, and I was like, I can't want this more than you want it.
Martin Reid: Thank you. We can be talking business or personal on that one line.
Eleshia Harris: There you go. And I was just like, I can't keep on putting my all into certain scenarios and not getting anything back. And as you said, we could be talking about business, family, friends, all of those things. And I just had to scale it back and recognize that it starts with me. And Brooke says this all the time, what you're not changing, you're choosing. And I was like, wow. I've got to choose me every day. Every day, I've got to choose me first every day. Then I wanted to share more. So it made things more expensive for me because I was choosing me and I was getting to do the things that I wanted to do. So this year, I've launched a podcast. And if I kept on choosing other people and I didn't set those boundaries, the podcast wouldn't have been listened to in over 37 countries. I would be helping other female business owners with simple strategies that I don't work with at the moment. I wouldn't be doing all of those things. So from that perspective, it starts with you. And that's what I teach. You've got to look at yourself.
Joy is so important, and this is a really good time to think about it. Are you still getting joy out of what you're doing from a business perspective? I often find when I work with clients, after they really gain clarity on their whys, they often realize that they are not doing the things that are serving them anymore or bringing them joy. And I really want you to think about this. Especially as we go into the next season, is what you're doing bringing you joy?
Looking at your schedule over the next coming months, other things that you've written down, do they light you up still? Or have you over-committed yourself? Have you still got the right boundaries in place? What do you need to look at those boundaries again? Because here's the thing, if you're saying yes to all of the things and you're being in that superwoman, burning the candle at both ends and spinning around doing all of that busy work, what are you actually getting done? What are you really moving forward? And this can be from any perspective, this could be from a business perspective, this can be from a home life perspective, personal goal perspective. Really ask yourself that question. This is the time to really reflect and think about the things that you want to do, the things that are really going to bring you joy in your future, and not the things that you think that you have to do to please everybody else. I've been there. Like I said before, I am a people pleaser. I used to do all of the things to please people first, and it didn't serve me. So think about that. Are you doing the same?
So I want to give you a little exercise to do. I mentioned looking at your schedule for the next couple of months. Read it out loud what you've got in your schedule. And if it doesn't feel like it is lightening you up anymore, if there's no excitement about doing it, maybe think about rescheduling it or canceling it out of your diary.
Yes, just saying no. It can be a little bit scary, but maybe you just need to say no. And also just check where you are in your cycle. Again, it doesn't have to be your female cycle that used to go with the moon, or even now that we've had the conversation about numbers, maybe you know, look where you are from that standpoint and make some decisions. But again, it comes down to what you want. What do you want? I loved it when Martin said that we need to prune the trees because he's so right. And sometimes, we do things just out of habit. And that can be at the detriment of our health, of our wellbeing, of just how we feel once we've said something. Sometimes you can feel really resentful for saying yes to something that you really want to say no to, but you just don't want to hurt somebody's feelings. But then you're putting in your feelings last. Think about how that's making you feel in your body.
Martin Reid: This is the thing, I felt like that too. That really does resonate with me because it's where people are realizing how resourceful, intelligent, powerful impact making potential people we are. But we've known that. But the world is now receiving in a way where we don't have to take it by force, that there are doors open for us to give expression to what we already have in us. I'm running with that. I'm running with that as far as I can.
Eleshia Harris: Yes, and we've got to. and we've got to keep on helping each other.
Last but not least, and I'm speaking from the bottom of my heart, because again, just when Martin said what he said with regards to us as black and brown people being seen now, that really touched me. Because we know our worth. We always have. And now that other people are starting to see and starting to recognize that we are here as well, that is important. And we have to continue to help each other. I know I said it in our conversations and I'm saying it again, we have to help each other. This has to be a collective, and I am big on collaborations. That's one of the reasons why I put together this podcast in the first place, because I know I had so many amazing people who had touched my life and touched my heart. I wanted to share them with you all. And so, if you know somebody who you can help, please do that for them. I'm doing this on a day-to-day basis. I want to continue to be able to help others. And I hope that you get to do the same too.
I really hope you enjoyed this episode. I found it really empowering to actually listen back to Martin and I's conversation because I really truly believe in everything that I said. And I'm just so thankful for, one, that he had me on his platform. But also, he asked me questions that I didn't even know were coming. And I was able to stand in my truth and I answered them wholeheartedly and unapologetically from my heart. And so if you want to go back and listen to the full conversation, then I would highly recommend you do so. You will see me in my coaching action. But you will also just see a beautiful start of a friendship between two Pilates teachers. I look forward to you tuning in again next week. Take care for now. Bye.
I really hope you enjoyed this episode of The Eleshia Show. If you loved this episode as much as I did, head over and rate and subscribe so you'll never miss an episode. New episodes drop every week on a Wednesday. I can't wait to hang out with you again soon. And lastly, remember to invest in yourself first because you are important and amazing. Take care. Until next time. Bye-bye.