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Episode 29 - 5 Ways to Deal with Self-Sabotage

Oct 27, 2021
Episode 29 - 5 Ways to Deal with Self-Sabotage
 

     
We all want to succeed in life, don’t we? 

But all too often, we let fear get in the way. 

We procrastinate or get overwhelmed with all those things we will have to tackle to make our personal and professional goals a reality. We’ve got too much on our plates, we don’t have the time, or worse still, we think that we don’t really have it in us. 

We self-sabotage with our thoughts or our behaviour and let our dreams and goals slip through our fingers. 

However, this fear is all part of the process. 

But to finish the race and achieve big things, you must keep your head up, gather the courage and run towards your goal.

You have to ask yourself: Am I pushing myself towards my goal? Am I doing enough to keep moving forward and achieve things for my growth?

By identifying your unique patterns of behaviour, you can identify strategies to both stop them in their tracks and create new healthy habits that foster confidence and success. 

In this week’s episode, I’ll be sharing five strategies that will help you stop self-sabotaging and move forward with your life. I use these strategies when I am getting to a place where my inner critic is becoming so loud that  I just want to sit down and do nothing. 

Join me as I talk about procrastination, overwhelm, and overcoming your fears. 

Eleshia’s Essentials:

  • If you are not fearful of what is in front of you, then it's not worth doing.
  • Self-sabotage goes hand in hand with procrastination.
  • If you are a solo business owner, it can be lonely. So sometimes you need to ensure that you have people around you to just have your back.
  • If there is something that you want to do, and fear, procrastination and overwhelm are stopping you, then you need to ask for help. You need to let somebody externally help you so you don't let self-sabotage, fear, or overwhelm rob your dreams and desires.

About the show:

Need simple strategies to help you grow your business and achieve more without working harder? Struggling to balance work, life, and all your other commitments and don’t want to burnout? You’re in the right place. 

The Eleshia Show is a holistic business and lifestyle strategy podcast to help you get clear on your business goals, stop procrastinating, boost your income, and do what lights you up. 

Women are taking notice! We have listeners across 37 countries and over 327 cities! We’re teaching female business owners across the world how to achieve more with less while looking after themselves. And we can do the same for you!

We’re having intimate conversations — the kinds that most female business owners are having privately. You don’t want to miss these.

Tune in to the podcast every Wednesday to discover exactly what expert CEOs did to get their businesses off the ground and achieve success so you can do the same! 

With your host, Eleshia Harris, business coach and growth strategist, you can redefine what success means, ditch the stress and confusion and learn how to run your business from a place of ease and excitement. 

If you want to talk business, wellbeing, lifestyle, mindset, goals, and scaling organic growth, don’t miss it!

Connect with Eleshia and the community today:

Show Transcript:

Eleshia Harris:  Sometimes you get into that mindset of what-ifs what-ifs what-ifs And you stop thinking about, well, why not? And so, I'm here. I wanted to just share some of the things that I do to help me get out of that self-sabotage cycle.

Hi, I'm Eleshia Harris and I am your host of The Eleshia Show. I am also the founder of eleshialifestyle.com, and I'm so excited that you're here with me and I am here with you. I'm also really appreciative. Each week, I'll be sharing strategies and stories, and insights to help you enhance your wellbeing and to build your business while still navigating life. Because sometimes we often try and separate the two, and let's face it, if you are not well, you have no business. So let's try and work with these two things combined because we can, to enhance your lifestyle. Again, I'm really excited to have you here. I have wanted to put together a podcast for over two years, and so here I am ready to share. Let's get into this week's episode.

Hey, Eleshia here, and welcome back to The Eleshia Show. I'm here again for a solo with you. And before we get into the episode, I just want to shout out to everybody in Australia who is listening. I see you, and I am so excited to have you here with me. We are now in 37 countries and over 321 cities, and it really just excites me. It lights me up every time I see these numbers because it means that I am reaching people as far as Australia. So again, thank you for listening. Let's get into this episode. 

We are going to talk about self-sabotage because it happens quite often, and here's the thing. I don't think we ever set out to say that we're going to sabotage ourselves.  In my mind, I know I want to succeed, but do I always do the things that I know are going to push the needle forward and get the things that I know will help with growth in my business? No, I don't. I am just like the rest of us. Sometimes I let fear get in the way. Sometimes I procrastinate. Sometimes I override my intuition. And I do things that I know that I shouldn't be doing at that precise moment. And that's all part of the process. 

Take today, for example, I was thinking about all of the excuses why I shouldn't sit down and record this episode. My kiddo was being very clingy. My house is a mess. I'm tired. Am I hungry? Would anyone even realize that I missed a week? I was doing all of those things in my head. And I remember having a conversation with a fellow podcaster last week. I was on his show. We did an Insta Live, and we were discussing all of the things that we do. And one of the things he said to me was, do I ever question myself? Yes, I do. But I also have tools in my toolkit that I go to really try and get me out of this feeling of fear and sabotage. Because I think when we sit in that place, we are doing ourselves, first and foremost, a disservice. And it's always going to come up as we go through life. 

One thing that I've heard so many times is that if you are not fearful of what is in front of you, then it's not worth doing. And yes, I get that to a certain extent. But I don't want people to feel like they have to live in that fear to be able to succeed. So when I think about self-sabotage, I think about it as my inner critic is coming out to play just like far does.  I see it as a form of protection. Self-sabotage, for me, goes hand-in-hand with procrastination. And it can be draining. It can be so, so draining that, as I said, I was in that self-sabotage mode this morning. It has happened a lot also throughout this week with regards to forgetting to pay bills on time, not having my fridge stocked up with the right food, and forgetting to follow up with potential clients, and thinking that I don't deserve to be successful and worrying about what will happen if I am successful.  Sometimes you get into that mindset of what-ifs, what-ifs, what-ifs. And you stop thinking about, well, why not? And so, I'm here. I wanted to just share some of the things that I do to help me get out of that self-sabotage cycle. So I am going to give you five strategies that I use when I am getting to a place where my inner critic is becoming so loud that I just want to sit down and do nothing. So I hope this helps. 

First and foremost, I check where I am in my female cycle. And remember, even if you don't have a cycle, you can use the moon and that is going to help. So for example, I am in the luteal phase of my cycle, and I know for a fact that this is affecting how I am feeling. I'm feeling like I've got less energy. I also feel like I just don't want to be sociable. And that's part of where I am in my cycle. Also, I check what I've eaten and drank over the last 24 hours. And again, just timing back to where I am in my cycle, it hasn't been great. I know for a fact that I need to be nourishing myself and also making sure that I am hydrated, and that I am well rested in this phase of my cycle. I know the things that I need to do. So by just going back and having a look and just collecting some of that data, I know that for the next 24 hours there are things that I did in my last 24 hours that I need to now really get a handle off because I don't want to go into another week feeling that I don't have the energy. I must say though, I have been having the greatest sleep for the last week. That has really, really helped. But now, I need to step up my eating and my hydration practices. 

And then I start to think about my why's. And my why's to why I am trying to do the particular thing that I am procrastinating about. And sabotaging, is it still aligned with my bigger vision? And if it's not, then why am I putting so much emphasis into getting that thing done. So from a business perspective, that sinks in about some of the things that you're thinking about doing, so just have a check-in with yourself and think about the bigger picture. Is this still aligned with everything that you want to do? Is it going to move the needle into growing your business? So I want you to think about the bigger vision. Is the thing that you're procrastinating about doing and completing does tie into your bigger vision? And I don't want you to just think about the months ahead. I want you to think about the years ahead also. And then think about why are you finding this so difficult? Have you taken on too much? Do you need help? Do you need to delegate things? Look at your personal current situation, what's going on in your life at the moment? Are you just in that distraction mode and trying to put everything that you need to put into your business? But then you're not thinking about your home life, your health or you're not actually finding the time to be joyful about things? 

Really think about all of these things, and then maybe do a brain dump and get everything that is going on in your head out of your head and on paper. I find this really, really, really useful. And I think I've mentioned it previously. I just like to get pen to paper. Sometimes when I feel like my brain is just full, I like to just do a brain dump, journal, just to get all of the things out of my head onto paper. Sometimes I don't even read. Again, sometimes I do because when you still your mind, sometimes those are when your biggest moments of clarity moments come. So get everything that you are worried about out of your head onto paper. And sometimes that's enough. But sometimes, if I still feel unstuck, then I would go back to some of the practices that I've mentioned before. I will look at the reminders on my phone that made me smile and remind me how amazing I am. 

I will speak to like-minded friends and talk about the situation because remember, it can be lonely if you are a solo business owner. So sometimes you need to ensure that you have people around you who are there to just brainstorm with, just have your back to tell you that you are amazing, tell you how great you're doing, and just really cheer you on in those times where you're not feeling that you can do that for yourself.

So yes, get on the phone or even take the time out to meet that friend. Or make the space to just really get still. And sometimes we don't like to do that because we don't like to be stirred enough that we start to listen to our inner voice, our intuition. And sometimes that's what we need to do. We need to be still, do some meditation or do whatever you need to do.  Do that breathing. I did a lovely breathing exercise before I sat down to record this. Find that time where you can just be still. And it doesn't have to be long, it can be a couple of minutes. Just to find your breath again and to ensure that you are fully engaged within yourself. 

I like to look around me and give thanks for everything that I have. I like to remind myself about the amazing opportunities, and the lives that I'm influencing. Because if I didn't have these open conversations and if I wasn't sharing what I'm doing, then I wouldn't be able to help others. So I give thanks for that. And then sometimes, if I'm still needing to really shake off that funk, I put on my favorite track and I dance around and I dance it out. And I dance like everybody has eyes on me, not like nobody's watching. Dance my little ass off well, Elessandra said it was big, but hey. 

Usually, I feel okay because I've done everything that I need to feel that I am doing the work within. But I've also used other tools to help me. So those are the things that have really, really helped me when I am in that place of sabotage. 

And lastly, I just want to share this thought with you. I shared it with a fellow Pilates teacher. He also has a podcast. And we were having a really frank conversation about what I do and why I think it starts with you. And I shared with him that when my mum was going through her cancer treatment journey, I lived in fear. I lived in fear for two and a half years, because we didn't know which way it was going to go. And I never let her know. I never told her that I was fearful because I wanted to make sure that I was positive for her. And she stayed as positive as she could be. We had some of the best times that we've ever had, but fear would show up a lot. And so, I remember living in that place of fear. And she's no longer with us. And so I just want to remind you that we are not here forever. So if there is something that you want to do and fear and procrastination and overwhelm is stopping you, and you can't get out of that place on your own then you need to ask for help. You need to let somebody externally help you. Don't let self-sabotage or fear or overwhelm rob you off your dreams and desires.

There are so many people out there that want to hear your dreams and your desires. They want to see you. They want to hear from you. And so, I want you to just remember that. Remember that I'm here to help you. In fact, I would love to help you in any way that I can. And just remember, you're not alone. You are not alone in this feeling, but you can get help. There are people around that want to see you win and thrive and be successful.

I really hope that you took something from this episode and it helped. And if you know anybody who would enjoy the episodes and the conversations that we're having, then please go ahead and share the podcast with them. And also, remember to subscribe. We go live every Wednesday. And on that note, I will see you next week. Bye-bye.

Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of The Eleshia Show. If you know somebody who needs to hear the conversations that we are having, please share it. Take a screenshot and send it to them. Also, I would really love for you to rate and review the podcast as this really helps, and I'd love to read your comments. Lastly, remember, you need to invest in yourself first because you are important and amazing. Take care. Until next time. Bye-bye.

Jenna and I on the Gold Digger podcast

When Jenna told me the date my episode was going to air, I shrieked and got to work to implement the podcast strategies she shared.

Curious how?

Yes I want to know